Parents of 16 kids found dead

From Fox10TV.com:

ESCAMBIA COUNTY, Fla. - Two people were killed in what authorities are describing as a home invasion. Escambia County Sheriff’s Deputies were called out to a home in the 9,700 block of Mobile Highway around 8:00 p.m. Thursday night. When they arrived, deputies found a man and woman dead in the bedroom of their home in the Beulah community. Both had been shot.

The victims have been identified as Byrd and Melanie Billings. The couple had 16 children, 12 of them were adopted. The Billings were known for helping children with disabilities and troubled backgrounds. Family members say all of the children were at home at the time of the shooting, but they were not hurt.

Deputies say they want to question three men in a red van about the murders.

As you all know, adoption is close to my heart. I've seen people go through hell and back in the adoption of their children. Adoption is hard. It is an emotional roller coaster. Whether you're dealing with infertility, or waiting for a birthmother to choose you to adopt, whether you go through the foster care system, and even more heart-breaking, a contested adoption. But these incredible people, these angels, adopted 12 special needs children (this is not mentioned in the story). One special needs child is an enormous responsibility, but these people adopted 12 of them. Twelve children that are virtually unadoptable. Twelve children that would have probably spent their lives in foster care or in institutions. Instead, they were adopted and given a mom and a dad, and a family. And now these parents are gone. Murdered in their own home. For no reason. My heart breaks for all their children. I hope something happens so that these siblings can all stay together.

Most importantly I want to say that the world needs more people like Byrd and Melanie Billings. They spent their lives helping and parenting children in need. Their lives were spent in selflessness. I wish more people who are interested in adoption would be wiling to adopt an older child or a special needs child. These children need families too. They want what all children want. Someone to love them and to be there for them. Byrd and Melanie did this for 16 children, twelve of them born in their hearts.

God Bless the Billings family.

The Kidney stone from hell

So the hubs went in for his CAT scan today to see how bad his kidney stones are. They told him it would take about 2 days to process and then they would let his doctor know what they found. Next thing we know, they called him back within a couple of hours and said he has a HUGE stone that is caught in the dilation of his urinary tract (or whatever, I'm not a doctor) and he needs to go to a urologist ASAP. When he told the medical people at the hospital who performed his CAT scan that he wasn't in pain anymore, they were completely shocked and surprised. Apparently he needs to go see a urologist ASAP so the stone can be broken up because passing it would not be good. I feel for him, I really do.

This is what kidney stones look like: OUCH!

UPDATE:

The hubs went and saw a urologist at 3:00 today and he told him that his stone was only 4.5 millimeters and he could pass one up to 6 millimeters on his own. So he gave him some medicine that will help expand things down there so passing the stone won't be quite so painful. And he has his lortab. But seriously, I feel for the poor guy. I LOVE YOU HUBS!

Randomosity, again...

Monday I started about 10 new great blog posts in my head and never wrote any of them down. I know they were all really great too. And now I can't remember a single one. I hate it when that happens.

So here are just a bunch of random thoughts about my experiences, or what have you, lately.

I am so sick of the road construction going on in my town lately. I don't understand why they can't just work on part of the road at a time instead of having miles and miles of highway and main roads blocked off. I was driving to work on Tuesday, and if you know Ogden at all, you'll know what I'm talking about. I usually take Wall Ave. to work, turn right on 17th St., turn left on Lincoln Ave, and, boom, there's my work. So Tuesday morning I was on Wall Ave, and right around the time I reached the strip club, traffic was directed into one lane. There was a giant school bus ahead of me and so I couldn't see that 17th St. was closed! Closed! So I had to continue on down to 12th St. At this juncture I would have turned right onto 12th street, and then right onto Lincoln Ave, and then boom, been at work. Oh no, that's too simple. Instead I turned right onto 12th St., and Lincoln Ave. was closed. Closed! This is about the time my head exploded. So I had to drive all the way down to Washington Ave. turn right, drive down several blocks to 15th St., turn right, and a few streets later I reached Lincoln Ave. and boom, I was at work. After driving in a huge circle! And Fifteen minutes late! Grr!

On Monday I read a blog written by one of my Facebook "friends" that I took great offense to. We have very different political views and I have accepted that. What I can't accept is someone calling themselves a Christian, being a position where they "speak" for Jesus and minister unto his sheep, when they judge themselves to be better than other people. His blog was about something completely different but he managed to sneak in something that questioned whether or not gay men were actually men (why didn't he just come out and question whether or not they were fit to be human?), made an assumption that he didn't want gay men touching him because obviously every gay man out there wants to jump his bones (trust me, he's not a catch even in the heterosexual world), and basically made is sound like he is far superior to any gay person. Which I happen to know he believes no matter how "Christian" he would like to believe himself to be. Jesus said love everyone. I don't remember there being an exception.

The hubs has kidney stones. I feel so sorry for the poor guy. I've had kidney infections that were so painful that I wished I was giving birth instead. They give you better drugs when you do. I heard that when a man has kidney stones, that is the closest he will ever come to knowing what child birth feels like. I told this to the hubs and for some reason he didn't find much comfort in that statement. Anyway, he has to take Lortab to deal with pain, pee into a strainer to catch any stones (ewww), and he has to have a cat scan so the doctors can see where his stones are at. I've never known the hubs to be sick very often. Usually I'm the sick one and he is taking care of me. The role reversal feels weird. But in the last few weeks he's had strep throat, a hurt foot, and now kidney stones. Poor lil' guy.

Two people in my family have now gotten the swine flu. Am I next? At least it would give me a few weeks off (or at least a week) from working out. No really, I love working out.

Speaking of working out...I used to spend hours of useless time watching TV. Now it seems like I'm spending my evenings at the gym, still watching TV on my cardio machine, but I'm burning instead of accumulating calories. I guess I can stop calling myself or thinking of myself as a lazy person. Dangit! Now I have to change my whole self-identity.

Michael Jackson

Around the time of his death, Michael Jackson was staging a comeback tour. It's sad to think that his death is a comeback of sorts. The media is talking about him again. The sales of his music have skyrocketed in the last week. He is all over TV and especially the 24 hour news channels. MTV played nothing but his videos for two or three days straight. Celebrities, politicians, leaders of nations, and ordinary people have done nothing but talk about Michael Jackson for the last week.

And it got me thinking. Michael Jackson's death is to my generation what Elvis Presley's death was to my parent's generation. Elvis Presley wasn't at the top of his game when he died in 1977. He had become a bloated shell of his former self. A joke in a sequined jumpsuit. And so was Michael Jackson. He hadn't done anything significant career-wise in years. At the time of his death, he hadn't released an album in almost 8 years. The last thing he had done publicly was stand trial for child molestation charges, of which he was acquitted.

So today they memorialized Michael Jackson. The legend that he is. The man that he was. I didn't expect to cry as I watched his friends and colleagues pay tribute to him, but I did. His family - their hearts are broken. You can see it in their countenances. His daughter barely said two sentences before she collapsed into the arms of her Aunt Janet. I know her pain. I too have lost a parent.

Michael Jackson will forever be a part of my childhood. My earliest remembrances include watching "Thriller" and "Billy Jean" videos on MTV. And I'll never forget all the Weird Al parodies that are very much tied to my memories of Michael Jackson. No, I wasn't an avid fan of his, but his music is a part of my life. The songs he wrote and performed are on the soundtrack of my life. His music is intertwined and enmeshed into my childhood.

"Heal the world. Make it a better place. For you and for me and the entire human race." Simple, but eloquent.

Goodbye Michael. God be with you 'til you moonwalk again.

Foreverwood

It's no secret that my favorite show of all time is "Everwood." The CW stupidly canceled the show after the WB and UPN merged into one network. A decision that the executives at the CW have publicly regretted.

Well, last week a dream of mine for the last 5 years came true. Warner Bros. finally released "Everwood: Season 2" onto DVD. Yes, I have literally waited for 5 years for this. All I've been doing is watching all 22 episodes for the last week. So you'd probably think that I am really happy right now.

It's not that simple.

I'm actually kind of sad right now. I've been trying to pinpoint why watching "Everwood" makes me so sad. I don't think it's the content. Yes, the premise of the show is sad, but it's also very funny. I don't think it's because the show ended so abruptly for me and only after 4 seasons. Even if it has survived past 2006, the show would be completely different. Light years away from where it first started. Would I even like it now?

"Everwood" was filmed in Utah and Main Street in the town of Everwood was filmed on the same street my husband works on now. There were times he was kept inside Great Harvest in the morning because they were filming and they wouldn't let people out until they were done. I love spotting the different places in Utah and seeing the familiar shops on Everwood's main street that I find on 25th St. in Ogden. I seriously cried the day they tore down the train station facade. I even accosted poor Tom Amandes, who played Dr. Harold Abbott on the show, at Sundance on the street to tell him as much.

So why am I sad?

I think I have figured it out.

"Everwood" is my Mom to me. She is the one who got me addicted to the show when I dismissed it as another WB teen melodrama. We were both really passionate about the show. She even tried out to be an extra. My brother-in-law worked on the show and we would try to drain out of him all the "Everwood" info and trivia we could. My Mom and I would call each other every Monday night after a new episode aired to dissect, dish, and discuss. We cried together when Colin died, we gasped when it was revealed that Madison was pregnant, we cheered when Ephram and Amy finally got together, and we yelled, screamed, and complained when we learned it was going to be canceled. "Everwood" is honestly the only show I've ever watched that has the ability to reduce me to a heap of goo. I've wept. I've bawled. No other show has done that to me.

Now that my Mom is gone, I have no one to share "Everwood" with. When I got the first season, I would watch all the extras, all the commentary, and share them with my Mom.

Season two has left me feeling gypped. There is no commentary. Not even some of the original music. Nothing special but a few deleted scenes. Big whoop. What can you expect when it comes out 5 years after it aired? I can't help but feel, though, disappointed and betrayed. Kind of how I felt after my Mom died only infinitesimally smaller.

Watching "Everwood" makes me sad because it makes me miss my Mom. It's as simple as that. That is why I am sad when I watch it. I want to be able to call her after each episode and dish for hours. But I can't. And watching "Everwood" by myself now is just a reminder of what I've lost.

Lose It - Week 6

I gotta say...the new scale is "weigh" better than the old one. The new one measures in .2 pound increments instead of 1/2 pound increments, so I feel like I'm getting a more accurate reading.

This morning I got on the scale and from last Monday to this Monday....

I lost 3 pounds!

Normally I would be so stoked that I would be doing cartwheels in the street. Which would be a sight considering I've never been able to do a cartwheel in my life.

But the sad thing is I weighed myself last Tuesday. And it basically said that I had lost almost 2 pounds overnight. Which could be possible due to water retention, etc. So if I consider my weight from Tuesday to Monday.....

I lost 1 1/4 pounds

Cartwheel material? Hmm...I'm not sure.

The hubs is reminding me that loss is loss and I should be stoked. Yesterday was Fast Sunday at my church. That basically means that the first Sunday of every month we fast for 2 meals and donate the money we would have used on food to the poor. I was so hungry after getting out of church at 4:00, that I literally ate almost my full day's worth of calories at dinner. After the kids went to bed I got on my elliptical, popped in a movie, and proceeded to burn off every single calorie that I ate. I came in 2,648 calories under budget for the week. That is the most calories I've ever been under in a week.

I'll try to be happy that I am losing weight, although not as quickly as I would like. Maybe by this time next year I'll be at the weight that I wanna be at.

Look Ma, no hands!

Before yesterday I've never been fishing before.

Before yesterday, I never understood people who fish for fun. It seems rather boring to me. I once heard that there is a fine line between fishing and sitting in a boat all day getting drunk.

I live in one of possibly the most beautiful places on earth. Not only do I have a gorgeous view of the mountains from my front windows, but all I need to do is drive 5 minutes from my house to be instantly in the mountains, hiking, camping, swimming, and yes, fishing. I'm increasingly becoming more aware of how lucky I am to live here and how I never want to leave.

On a whim yesterday I tried something new. While camping at the hubs' grandparent's cabin, the hubs decided to take the kids fishing in the pond near the cabin. He had bought them their very own junior fishing rods. The hubs brother and his fiance were also planning on fishing in the pond. I decided to instead of staying back at the cabin and reading my book, which is so quintessentially me, but to go with them.

Suprisingly, I really had a good time. It was so peaceful and relaxing. Not to mention the breathtaking mountain views. Once my daughter caught her very first fish she decided she was done for the day. So the hubs taught me how to cast a line on her fishing rod. I had fun just practicing how to cast it farther out each time. I probably would have caught a couple of fish had I known to pull up once I saw my bobber go under water. I lost more than one bait to my inexperience.

Recently I took up yoga to help me relax and refocus my energy. There is something strange about the connection between fishing and yoga. Both are very relaxing. I felt connected to something greater than myself while I sat there enjoying the beautiful views God had provided for us. I told the hubs that I would like to do it again sometime. I can't think of a more wholesome family activity than fishing.

The best part was, despite four adults being there (and my brother-in-law being an experienced fisherman) only our two kids caught fish that day. My son was so excited he actually ate the rainbow trout he caught that night, which is unusual for his extreme food pickiness. I don't know, there's something kind of poetic about that.